Moving On and Letting Go: A Path to Wellness
Letting go is a popular buzzword in modern psychobabble. Let it go – it’s applied to anger, weight, regret, loss, bitterness. This suggests that we can flip a switch and put down a burden as though it were a sack of potatoes. In the macro, this is not bad advice. These old wounds fester – and at some point, in order for new growth to take place, the old has to be cleared out. However, letting go is not a parlor trick that can be done on demand. It is an organic and highly personal process – and strangely, one that you recognize only after it happens. It cannot be forced or rushed.
So how to get there? Move on. What is moving on? It is forward motion. It is getting out of bed. Brushing your teeth. Leaving the house. The human psyche is like a shark – if it stops moving, it dies. When we incur a loss or a hurt – we often stop moving – getting stuck in the pain of it. This can manifest in many ways – not getting out of bed, curtailing a social life, not eating properly, no longer being in the world. Moving on means living, but it does not necessarily mean letting go, at least not right away. Moving on is not a tall order. But it is an essential process in the art of letting go. Because if we take care of ourselves, honor ourselves, we can draw lessons from those losses and hurts, and leave the undigested material at the side of the road.
Sometimes we take draconian steps to let go. I will never call him again. I will never drive by that spot again. I will never eat another cookie. It doesn’t work. Moving on may mean doing what you need to do – don’t call him, don’t drive there, stop buying Mallomars. But that won’t result in letting go instantly – that takes place at a mysterious pace.
You put that cookie down one day, you may not have “let go” of sweets – but you did for one meal – and before you know it, you control the ability to put down extra calories. Each time you put the junk down – it is a victory. And then before you know it –you don’t crave them as you once did. It’s a leap of faith.
The bottom line? Don’t get frustrated. Here’s a promise – if you move on – you will let go. Because by getting out of bed, putting on your best face , making yourself your best you – the world will throw the best of itself at you. Much like a glint of light off a tiny drop can entirely turn our head – moving on and being in the world will catch the light and turn your soul. Before you know it – the old hurts will be let go – not because you forced them, but because they were ready.
